INTJ Relationships

INTJs are ambitious and logically-minded workers who set big goals and follow through on plans to achieve them. They can help others learn to think through complex problems and express ideas openly. Though they tend to be naturally reserved, their assertive nature means they’re often able to step up and lead others when necessary.

INTJs generally like to work alone, but when they’re working alongside coworkers, they want to make sure work is done well. They aim high and hope that their colleagues will do the same. At times, they may be direct in offering feedback. While they appreciate constructive criticism themselves, they can tend to seem critical to those who don’t enjoy feedback. 

When others on their team are able to focus on the tasks at hand, directly address any problems they see, and keep emotions out of the equation, INTJs are likely to feel comfortable, which can improve their ability to work closely with others.

Because INTJs tend to be direct and honest when communicating their thoughts, they can be perceived as arrogant, at times. This may frustrate others who feel like they aren’t being heard or listened to in group work. INTJs may also say something harsh without realizing that what they said hurt or upset someone else. At times, they may even seem to lack emotional connection when others are reacting emotionally, which might add to any frustration coworkers may have. However, these problems can be reduced and resolved when those who work alongside INTJs make the effort to directly address the issues. When INTJs are made aware of the problems, they will likely put in the work to fix them.

INTJs can be focused, driven partners who are open, honest communicators. They can work objectively through difficult relational problems to consistently work toward growth with their partner. They tend to value partners who bring a different perspective to the relationship and actively think outside the box.

INTJs tend to be very forthcoming in relationships; if they see a problem, they’ll generally want to address it to prevent it from developing any further. They are often able to get to the heart of a problem quickly, which can bring about an effective resolution. As introverts, INTJs tend to be fairly independent and often need time to themselves. INTJs extend this same privilege to their partners, though, and enjoy giving them plenty of space to pursue their own passions and ideas.

Their ability to focus more on logic, even in emotional situations, may lead INTJs to have a difficult time listening to their partner with empathy. Instead, they may feel frustrated if their partner seems overly emotional or if there seems to be a clear solution. This may upset someone who is just looking to feel emotionally heard and understood. 

Similarly, INTJs have a hard time being emotionally vulnerable and open around their partner. They have the tendency to consider their emotions as low priority and may not see much of a point in sharing them, which can frustrate a partner who wants to know how they’re feeling.

INTJs may also allow their frustration outshine other things they may be feeling in an emotional context. They can seem overly cold or harsh when upset, which might hurt their partner. However, with knowledge about each other’s strengths and differences, an INTJ and their partner can work through their differences to create a strong, capable, empathetic relationship.